Parent to Parent
Hello!  We want you to know we respect you tremendously for choosing adoption. 
We wish you peace and love in your process and consider it a privilege that you may even consider us to raise, care for and love your baby as our child.  We honestly believe that our difficulties in getting pregnant combined with the difficulty you now face, is often the way God works to bring people together to bless, heal and help them.  We believe that this process will end up being a blessing to you, the baby, and the family you choose. 

Woman to Woman
Marc and I have prayed and waited…talked to people and waited...read and waited…cried and waited…tried and waited.  Now, I’m ready to reach out to you…a mom-to-be who is reading a letter from a mom-to-be.  What we do share in common is so much more than what we don’t. 

We are both women.  We both want to be comfortable in our jeans but know that when we are bloated with PMS we really just want to eat chocolate and wear sweats and an oversized sweatshirt.  We both want to do what is best for a child.  We are both a little scared and confused but also hopeful and seeking to follow our hearts with a little influence from our heads. J 

We both have passions and dreams.  We both have a past, a present and a future.  Neither one of us has definite answers but we’ll know when we know.  We both have to trust and be patient with ourselves.  We both have the potential to be a blessing to those who touch our lives and right now, most importantly, a baby who we both want to see grow into a happy healthy adult.

While there is so much for us to share with you, we invite you to read on and take a glimpse into the lives of our family in the present and see if you believe it could include your baby in its future.  Thank you.

Our Families – Our Foundation
Cadden                                                               
Growing up, I had the privilege of 2 parents, 3 sisters, several dogs, a cat, a great neighborhood with lots of children, a wonderful education and lots of extended family close by with whom to share holiday, seasonal and special events.  I was the 3rd of 4 girls.  I had a happy childhood with family, friends, pets, and fun.

I worked in many odd jobs since I was 16 years old.  Yet, I always knew I wanted to be a teacher “when I grew up”.  Naturally, I wanted to go to college to get my teaching degree.  My dad asked me if I wanted to go to a Big Ten school.  I said, “Sure!  What’s that?”  He immediately reflected back on the days when I would come home from cheering at a basketball or football game and he would ask, “What team did you play?” or “Who won?” or “What was the score?”  To each question I would sheepishly reply, “I don’t know”.   He would then ask “Weren’t you just at the game?”  “Duh, Dad, I was cheering.”  He would just shake his head.

My mom, Barbara.  Her heritage is German, Irish, English and Danish.  She always loves sharing stories about her relatives. She was a home maker. I mean, she created a home.  Not a house, but a home.  My favorite thing about my mom is that she was and still is ALWAYS THERE - there for her nuclear family, her extended family, her church family, her neighborhood family and her family of friends.  She exemplified to me the way a mother acts in order to make her children feel special, important, loved and prioritized.

My mom was home every day for lunch and after school.  She had a good friend who had 3 children close to us in age.  She and my mom would take turns making lunch for all 6 of us.  We’d alternate weeks for lunch from Johnson’s house to my house.  We kids would laugh all the way home from school, all through lunch, and then all the way back to school. 

After school my mom taught me about healthy snacks and doing my homework right away.  She gave me rules about not calling friends during dinner time and when you do call, always address the other person, “Hello, Mrs. Jones.  This is Cadden.  May I please speak to Caroline?”   She taught me that the magic words are “please” and “thank you” and that they go a long way.  She taught me before bed time to wash my feet, fanny and face.  After a bath, I would bring her a Q-tip and she would clean my ears.  I would lie on her lap and ask her to rub my back.  She told me how she used to rub my back to put me to sleep when I was a baby.  I liked that story, imagining myself as a baby and my mom rubbing my back to help me sleep.

She took me shopping for school clothes at the beginning of every school year and then take a picture of me on my first day of school.  She had a meal on the table every night for dinner.  We would go around the table and share about each of our days. 

My older sisters include Maura and Barbara.  Maura is 5 years older than I.  She is the wife of Butch and the mother of my dear nieces Taylor, 14, Catey, 12, and Madison, 10.  They also live in the same town and our families get together often.

My younger sister is Kate (not pictured above).  She came into my life when I was 5 years old.  She came home from the hospital a beautiful baby with a perfectly shaped head, perfect body and angelic face.  But something was different about the way she acted.  She cried a lot and had seizures.  After taking her to the pediatricians at Children’s Memorial Hospital, it was determined Kate was profoundly brain damaged.  What a curve ball for my family.  My mom’s brother and sister-in-law were due to have their baby 5 months later.  Since my folks were very close to each of their siblings and extended family, they all pulled together and helped my parents make the most difficult decision of their lives and marriage. They decided the best thing to do for all of us, particularly Kate, was that she be in a place that would provide her with the best medical treatment and physical care to meet her special needs.  Kate went to live in a home-like facility run by Catholic nuns.  Kate has lived there for 36 years.  We see her all the time and whenever we want.  Her home has been a second home to me and my family.

My dad, Robert.  His heritage is 100% Italian.  He is a provider, a family man, a worker, a fun loving guy - most of all, he is a big kid.  One of the great things about my dad was and still is his desire to create a family. He loves family gatherings and traditions celebrated in their home. He worked hard so he could raise his 4 girls in a nice home, give us each an education ( including 4 years of college) and provide us with wonderful life lessons so that we could be become independent and productive women.  He enjoyed watching us learn and grow.  He loved to throw a ball with me, teach me to golf, and watch me play tennis.  When we would watch a movie I would ask him questions throughout the entire movie and as I got older he would say to me, “I don’t know, watch the movie”.  Watching the Chicago Cubs baseball games growing up, I remember one year I knew every player by name.  He would smile when I would say, “Ivan DeJesus just got on first base, Dad.”   

Marc
I was born in Oak Park, Illinois to Andy and Donnie Jo.  Andy is 100% Greek and Donnie Jo is German, Norwegian, French and English.  Andy and “DJ” divorced when I was about 2 years old.

Much of my youth was spent on one type of athletic field or another. We discovered I had an athletic gift when I was young.  The affirmation and self esteem I garnered from sports was life-changing.  I had a great deal of success and eventually was offered a scholarship to play hockey at West Point.  Let me tell you, as gifted as I may have been athletically, academics were another story. 

My sole dream and desire was to play professional hockey. My energy went into honing my skills on the ice but my school work was never as important to me.  I value an education and I will try to instill that value in my children.  The goal in our home now is to foster a love of learning.

When I was 10 my parents brought my sister into the world.  Annie was born in 1974.  We had a lot of fun in our house and Annie developed an admiration for her “big brother” while I, always played with, cared for, and teased my little sister.  Many days were filled with play, chores, and homework.  But I remember my childhood as being a wonderful time in my life.

Annie is now 33 and she and her husband Mick just had their first child, Liam, in May of 2007.

My mom taught dance and had her own dance school for many years.  She was a professional dancer in the late 50’s and worked with some pretty big names.  Artie was in sales most of his career. 
My dad, Andy, went on to marry Renee when I was about 6.  I saw my dad every weekend.  I was very close with him, my aunt and uncle, and my grandmother on my father’s side.  They loved me dearly and we had a lot of fun family times on weekends when we would all get together.  Man, could they cook too. 

Dad was divorced again when I was 13.  He remarried when I was 18 and I was his best man.  His marriage to Margo lasted only about 10 years.  My dad and I have remained close and I talk with him weekly.

Artie and my mom still live in the house in which I grew up.  They just celebrated their 36th anniversary and set a great example of commitment.  One of the neatest things I have experienced is watching first my mom and then Art grow spiritually. 

One of the families we saw all the time when I was growing up had 3 daughters that I knew - all around my age.  My folks went to high school with them  in Illinois.  Art and Bob became best friends over the years sharing cars, boats, as well as, fishing and hunting trips together.  Bob and Bobbe were like an Aunt and Uncle to me and in fact that’s what I called them – Aunt Bobbe and Uncle Bob. Their daughters were all very attractive.  I realized as I got into high school, their younger daughter named Cadden and I were attracted to each other but were kind of like brother and sister too.  We would play kissy face but also had a neat friendship and mutual respect for each other.  Yes, this is the Cadden that I am now married to.

Going off to WestPoint, I went there to play hockey but was intrigued by and loved the history and challenge the Academy offered.  I had a fascinating four years there with lots of ups and downs, close calls and lots of hockey.  My character was changed as the words “Duty, Honor and Country” resounded in my mind and stirred in my soul. Over those 4 years I became very “mission” oriented and perhaps a bit more serious.  Mostly I just grew up. 

I knew I wanted to be a Christian and accepted Christ as my Savior in the spring of 1982.  I was never baptized so I was that spring at West Point.  The decision to become a Christian was the most important transforming and wonderful decision I’ve ever made. 

I graduated from the Academy in 1985 and went into the infantry.  I served for 5 years.

I went into sales back home in Chicago in 1990.  I also got involved with a Ministry called Hockey Ministries.  They ran Christian hockey camps for kids.  I fell in love with it and joined them full time in 1992.  I became a missionary for the next year.  I grew a lot and read the Bible for the first time.  I was a camp counselor for the kids and an on ice instructor.  In 1993 I got a call from a college in MN.  I was a head coach at the NCAA D3 level for the next 2 years.  It was a fantastic learning experience.

I yearned to be home again and came back to Chicago in 1995.  It was then I began what has been my career ever since.  I am a hockey coach and director of a youth hockey organization.

Our Journey as a Couple
Marc and I have known each other since we were young kids.  Our parents went to high school together and remained friends into adulthood.  Our parents both chose our home town to raise their families. 

Growing up, Marc and I became friends meeting at special family events and going to high school together.  During high school, we would see each other socially, in the halls, and I would cheer for Marc’s football team.  While we dated others, we remained good friends with a genuine interest in one another.

We both went to college and kept in touch through our mothers, with a periodic get together at a winter, spring or summer break.  Our families were so close in our formative years that my dad said to Marc and Art when Marc went off to West Point, “If you graduate, I’ll be there.” So sure enough, with God’s grace, Marc graduated in May of 1985. My dad packed me and my mom up and we drove out to West Point, where I was Marc’s date for the Graduation Ball.

Marc and I had always been intrigued by and attracted to each other but we both felt there was “something missing” in the other.  On December 2, 1999, both of us well into our thirties, Marc called me one Sunday to go to the Black Hawks hockey game and I said yes right away.  Marc now had a 1 year old son, I had a dog and neither one of us were married. 

We met for dinner.  At dinner we discussed all aspects of our lives…but the piece that caught both our attention about each other, was the one that had been missing years ago.  We both had gone on our own spiritual journey.  We each had a sense of peace about our lives that was now very attractive to the other. 

It was within 3 weeks we were talking marriage.  Eleven months later we were married on November 24, 2001.

Our Life Today
Our Family is Cadden (42), Marc (44), Marcos (9), Bo the Border Collie (10), and Sonny the Schnauzer (3). We live in the town in which we grew up.

Marcos

Marcos is 9 years old and in fourth grade.  He works hard in school and loves athletics.  He is gentle, kind, and fun.  His favorite thing to do is run around the neighborhood (like the “old days”) and play with his school friends.  He is always willing to include the siblings of his friends too.  He loves kids of all ages and is sensitive to people with special needs. He loves to rough house and tackle his friends while playing football but, he will just as comfortably, walk into the home where Kate lives with some very disfigured friends, gently wave, softly smile and say “Hi” to them.  In church when he walks past an elderly person, he smiles, waves and whispers “Hi”.  He is wise beyond his years and a gift from God to us and will be to his sibling too.  He is so excited to be a big brother.  He is looking forward to playing hockey, baseball, football, golf, and soccer with his little brother and he said he would play dolls with his little sister “While she’s little.”

My greatest joy comes from parenting him.  He is such a joy to raise.  That does not mean it’s always easy, but for me there is no greater challenge worth taking on.  As he gets older Marcos negotiates with me.  I have to say, he presents a very reasonable well thought out argument and generally, after listening to him I usually accept his terms of the negotiation.  I mean whether it’s staying longer at a friends house or staying up later or having that can of soda / pop, or wearing the same shirt to bed that he wore to school that day (yuck!!), or taking a shower the next day because…whatever it may be, he is mastering the art of compromise and negotiation, and I can use the practice too!

Marcos thrives on positive reinforcement, structure, knowing the “plan”, having some say, and having ownership in how his free time is structured; but mostly, he just wants to play.  One of my favorite things to have happen is to watch what he creates out of his free time when he has free choice.  He is so good at coming up with ideas that are just brilliant.  Watching him grow and develop, into one who makes really thoughtful, careful choices (most of the time), and one who truly enjoys his life, is for me what parenting is all about.  I love my job!  I am so fortunate to be able to be at home to parent.

Our Faith & Traditions
Cadden teaches religious education class (CCD) once a week to 8th graders preparing to make their Confirmation in the Catholic faith.  This is her third year working with this age.  While getting their sustained attention can be a challenge, once obtained, they are quite sweet as they seek to know themselves and their world a little better.

We serve at our church working with engaged couples planning to marry in the Catholic Church.  We meet with them, not as experts on marriage or faith, but as fellow Christians who want to share with other couples the blessing we believe our marriage is.

We also enjoy serving at our church as part of a Leadership Council Steering Committee to assist our Pastor with a building development plan to enhance our parish programs and facilities.

Every summer, for the past 15 years, my parents rent a lake home in Michigan, on the Lake.  We go for 2 weeks always around the 4th of July. We enjoy swimming, walks on the beach, “Craig’s Cruisers”, cooking, sharing one bathroom, sleeping in close quarters, late night card games, colorful sunsets, watching movies, s’mors, evening fires on the beach, and fireworks!

Our Future         
God promises us that we will face trials in our lives.  He also promises to light our path by being “the way, the truth, and the life” easing our pain with His promise.

Our journey in trying to conceive has been painful.  We had a 20 week miscarriage.  We were ½ way along to having a baby.  Because of our faith in God’s promise, we knew He loved us and did not want us to suffer for too long.  It is our desire to raise more children in our family and if it is His will for you to choose us as your child’s adoptive family, we would be honored to have the opportunity.

For more information please contact Sunny Ridge Family Center.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

God Bless you,
Cadden, Marc and Marcos

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